Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
