We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
