So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize