Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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