Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
