I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
