Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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