my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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