i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
