There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
