thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just pee around me
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
