just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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