the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
