We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
