At least make sure they are 18
Why
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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