Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
