Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
she smelled like a LAN party
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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