Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
