I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
