is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
