i may or may not be watching the land before time
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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