I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
