We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
