i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize