went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
