Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
