Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
