do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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