he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
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