3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
