i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
