It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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