i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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