i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
