i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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