so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
