and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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