her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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