How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
