sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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