**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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