I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
