How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
