I'm really into asian looking animals
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
