If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
