I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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