it hurts more in the daytime
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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