i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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