So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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