But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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