i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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