There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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