also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
