How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize