im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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