At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
