Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
