Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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